The Scary Story of Great Uncle Hairy

Posted on October 31, 2016 by melissagold11

In which I make up a slightly spooky story themed for Halloween. But really, I’m no good at being scary so I go for ridiculous instead.

The Scary Story of Great Uncle Hairy

By Melissa

“Tell me a spooky story, Dad” said Lilly.

“Yes please!” said her brother Billy.

Their father stretched his long legs and saw the excitement in the many eyes of his children. The spider family lived a peaceful life in the basement. It was almost Halloween and the spider children were excited to dress up in scary human costumes and go trick-or-treating. (There were a lot of spiders living in this particular basement, so it would be a big event.)

“Oh, alright” said dad. “I can tell you the story about how your Great Uncle Hairy lost three legs and four eyes, as long as you won’t be too scared.

“Tell us, tell us!” all the children said together.

“Ok,” said dad. “I will tell you the scary story of Great Uncle Hairy.”

“Our family has lived in this basement for a very long time, so when Great Uncle Hairy was little he lived here just like you. There was one important difference, though. When the humans upstairs first arrived many years ago, there was less stuff in the basement. Even worse, back then the humans had not yet given up on keeping the basement clean and orderly.”

“What’s wrong with cleaning the basement?” asked one of the youngest spiders.

“For humans, a clean basement means no spiderweb castles, no yummy bugs to eat, and absolutely no spiders!” said Dad in his spookiest voice. “One day Great Uncle Hairy was eating lunch when he heard a human coming down the stairs to the basement. Thump, thump, thump, louder and louder. The human opened the door. Creeeeek~ and turned on the lights!”

“Oh, I’m afraid of the light! Was Great Uncle Hairy scared of the light too?” asked one of the children.

“So scared.” said Dad. “All the other spiders ran into the shadows, but Uncle Hairy was so scared that he couldn’t move. Thump… thump… thump. The human came closer… and closer. Eeeeee!” (All the children jumped) “The human had looked down and spotted Great Uncle Hairy!”

“What did Great Uncle Hairy do then?” asked Lilly in a scared, quiet voice.

“He ran. Uncle Hairy got so scared that he ran as fast as his eight legs could carry him.”

“Did he get away?” asked Billy excitedly.

“Well, Great Uncle Hairy was so scared that he accidentally ran in the wrong direction. EeeeEEE!! The human screamed even louder than before, jumped back, and began stamping the ground wildly. WHAM WHAM WHAM! Great Uncle Hairy was lucky not to be trampled right then and there.”

“The human then picked up the broom meant for cleaning the basement and knocking down spiderweb castles. Swoosh, swoosh! The broom swept across the floor and hit poor Uncle Hairy. Two of his right legs and one of his left got caught in the broom, but the rest of him flew across the basement, hit that wall over there,” (dad pointed with one leg at the wall high above them), “then fell down, down, down behind the shelf.”

“Honey, are you scaring the children again before bedtime?” Mom had come into the room, saw the wide eyes of her children, and looked disapprovingly at Dad.

“Of course, it was a good thing that he fell behind the shelf” Dad finished quickly. “The human never found him back there. Great Uncle Hairy walked with a limp after that, but he was ok in the end.”

A New Friend for Alex

Posted on October 26, 2016 by melissagold11

In which I share another short story, the product of a creative writing session with Leeya.

A New Friend For Alex

Written by Melissa

Illustrated by Melissa and Leeya

Once upon a time there was a girl named Alex. Alex was seven years old and lived in America wither her mother, father, older brother named Benny, and younger sister named Grace. Alex liked to use her imagination to tell stories and play games. Sometimes she pretended that fairies lived on tree branches and came out to dance at night. Sometimes she believed her own stories, and one time she broke her arm trying to climb up a tree! After this happened her parents started to worry. Benny, her older brother, thougtht she was crazy. Grace, the baby, thought Alex was funny but was too young to understand her stories. So, Alex played by herself. However, her imagination was so big that she never got lonely.

One day Alex was walking to the post office with Benny to send some birthday presents to their friend in Shanghai. Alex was imagining that the package she was carrying was an exotic animal, that she was a famous scientist carrying the animal to the zoo. Benny, who thought himself too old for that sort of game, ignored her.

“Everyone will be so excited to study this new kind of dragon!” said Alex excitedly.

“Really? What kind is it? Can I get a closer look?” said a voice behind them.

Benny and Alex both quickly turned around. What they saw made Alex smile and Benny scream and fall down. Standing on the road was a creature that was not human and not an animal. He had purple skin, a large head and eyes, and short legs and arms.

“What are you? You can’t be real!” said Benny.

“Nice to meet you! (Don’t be rude, Benny!)” said Alex. She did not even realize that this creature was not in her imagination.

“My name is Blob. I’m from outer space. I want to learn all about Planet Earth. I am a scientist!” said the alien named Blob.

“I’m a scientist too!” said Alex.

“No you’re not! You’re both crazy!” said Benny.

“Come to my spaceship and see my discoveries!” said Blob. “You can both tell me all about Earth!”

“Don’t hurt me!” said Benny.

“We would love to come.” said Alex. “We can explore the universe together!”

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~ To Be Continued(?) ~

Imitating Art

Posted on October 25, 2016 by melissagold11

In which I hang out with a new friend and take ridiculous pictures.

At the Photo Club’s photo scavenger hunt meetup I met a new Chinese friend named Yue. We weren’t on the same Photomon Go team, but we talked a lot before and after the event and got each other’s contact information. At the end of Golden Week I needed a break from being at home all the time, so Yue and I planned to spend my day off at 798 Art District, one of Beijing’s iconic hangouts. The area is a lot like downtown Asheville, but with less street musicians and restaurants and more art galleries. Some exhibitions are free to enter, others require a small entrance fee.

Yue and I met up in the morning and spent almost the whole day walking around there. The weather was crisp but not freezing, the air pollution was low, and so it was just a nice day to hang out. It wasn’t the first time I’d visited the area; I went back in May with my study abroad group (see bottom of this post). However, it was my first time visiting since I’d come to live in Beijing.

Me and Yue enjoying my first taste of Tanghulu~ Pretty good way to start off the day!

The first exhibition we visited was themed around this marbled style.

It’s an entire deer made out of the stuff!

There were a few more sculptures outside. Yue found a new friend!

Hey! Why won’t he share?

Showing off the iconic steampunk vibe of 798. The whole place is a converted factories and warehouses.

No phone in the phone booth, but that’s ok. I brought my own. Oh, wait a minute….

The most fun part was posing with all the sculptures lining the streets. Remember that we met at a photography meetup!

Oh! Ok, we’re really going to do ALL the statues now, huh? This is my best rabbit impression. One take, booya!

I have inspired Yue do something which she otherwise wouldn’t have. I hope this means I’m a good role model.

WHY ARE WE YELLING?

Just trying to fit in

Joining the choir

Hehehehehehe

What… is this?

Happiest sculpture we could find.

The baby makes this pose look easy!

So what if it’s chilly out? Ice cream break! Finally I have somebody to share with. ^-^

The Korean ice cream place had an unreasonably large and adorable teddy bear.

Thanks to the ice cream we enjoyed a very late lunch. While I finish my noodles Yue is having fun taking photos of her reflection. This is my “really, pictures of a spoon?” face.

It was nice to spend a whole day in 798 Art District (we still didn’t see everything, though that could be because we walked in circles a few times). I may have been before, but it’s an ever-changing place.

It was great to spend the day with Yue and get to know her better. Although she’s Chinese, she’s new to Beijing too. We’re looking forward to hanging together again in the future!

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As if this post didn’t already have enough pictures, I’ll include a few more below from when I visited 798 Art District back in May with my study abroad group. That 3-day tour of Beijing was a jam-packed blur of activities and I never got a chance to sit down and publish blog posts from many of our field trips. Now that I’m living in the city, I can actually look/go back and soak in the experiences. It’s never too late to share good photos!

Dr. Li, looking awesome as usual.

Just a couple of the adorable strays that are all too common in China.

Me, trying to navigate.

I really like this painting for some reason.

I now live in the city where I first arrived in China. Although I didn’t stay very long the first time, it’s interesting to see how in some ways my experiences in China have come full circle.

Making a Pizza

Posted on October 25, 2016 by melissagold11

In which I (somehow) rally two young children, two Chinese nannies, a dysfunctional oven, an ordinary microwave, and one very brave mother into making a pizza.

Golden Week was upon us and the kids were out of school for a solid week (my second week on the job). Whatever ideas and activities I had, that was the time to use them. Why not cook some Western food? My greatest fear in cooking is that nobody will appreciate or eat the finished product (this is especially true when cooking foreign food). So, why not cook it together and make it a learning exercise? My theory is that people are more likely to eat and less likely to insult what they’ve worked for two hours to produce.

Sophia has been obsessed with this simple children’s book called Making A Pizza, so it was easy to build hype for the activity. Yes, the four-year-old was my on-staff pizza expert. I will include the text of the story in bold below.

Here is the pan

There’s this pan-thing in the oven that I’ve never used. Will that work?

It’s rectangular, but sure. That’ll work fine!

Here is the dough

Elated from a successful shopping trip, I unloaded the groceries onto the kitchen table and took a look at the 10-minute pizza dough recipe I found online. I started naming off the ingredients. My host mother translated my list into Chinese as I read since the nanny is the only one who knows where anything in the kitchen is (she cooks 3 meals a day in there). When I looked up expecting to see the assembled ingredients, I instead saw that the nanny already throwing all the things into a bowl at top speed efficiency without any regard for me, the kids, or the recipe in my hand.

“What are you doing?! I’ve got a recipe here we’ve got to follow. Pizza dough isn’t the same as Chinese bread and, well… I kinda wanted to help and also get the kids involved.”

“You mean, you know how to make a pizza by yourself?” (That was my host mother, looking rather surprised.)

Yep, I’m the foreign teacher here. That was kind of the idea… When I told the kids I needed their help, I meant it to be a learning experience! I know full well that any “help” I would get would be unskilled and make the actual cooking process slower and more complicated, but that was kind of the point. An edible pizza at the end was just sort of a bonus for completing a cultural experience. Should have realized that the nanny isn’t used to sharing the kitchen (or letting anyone do anything for that matter). It was too late, though. The sort-of-pizza-dough created by the nanny was already done at this point and, according to her, would need an hour to rise. So much for my 10 minute recipe, but like I said I’m not one to refuse help so I let it go. We could prepare the toppings and figure out how to work the oven while we waited.

Here is the sauce

Shopping for ingredients actually went really smoothly since there’s a well-stocked foreign imports store within walking distance from the apartment. I was worried that I’d have to fabricate pizza sauce out of ketchup or something, but the store had a whole shelf of pizza sauces to choose from. I couldn’t believe it!

Here is the cheese

Cheese is not part of Chinese cooking. I’m pretty much a cheese enthusiast, so I was excited for this part. I might have freaked out my host mother a little when I grabbed two bags of shredded mozzarella off the store shelf saying “Hmm… I hope this is enough.” They were small bags, really!

Here is the pepperoni

We got not only pepperoni, but also mushrooms, tomatoes, ham, and pineapple to put on our pizzas.

Leeya hadn’t quite caught onto my first lesson: when you cook food yourself you have to start before you feel hungry. Sophia was excited to help, though. After the pizza dough incident I was anxious to get the kids involved in any way I could, so (with mother and nannies all watching) I took up the giant knife and started coaching the 4-year old on chopping tomato pieces.

I had almost full control of the knife and it was my hand near the blade, not Sophia’s. No, I don’t think they were worried that we would chop our fingers off; what pained the nannies was that we were chopping tomatoes so incredibly slowly and clumsily. These kids are loved and well cared for, but aren’t allowed the chance to help out around the house, or even put on their own socks. I think the fact that I encouraged and expected the children to help me do things was probably the biggest piece of cultural immersion of the experience, much bigger than western cooking. This was their first time helping prepare food, period.

Together Sophia and I chopped our way through all the tomatoes, pineapple, and mushrooms. I showed her it was ok to get her hands messy pushing the chopped pieces into the bowl, which she was hesitant to do.

The master pizza chef at work. Sophia’s been training for weeks, and it’s finally time for the practical application.

Here is the Oven

My latest host family does have an oven in the apartment. However, it is not necessary for traditional Chinese cooking and my host mother couldn’t remember the last time they used it, or how it worked.

No problem, an oven isn’t a complicated machine. After fiddling with it for a few minutes we set it to preheat and went back to assembling the pizza.

However, when we checked on it a few minutes later, we found it to be warm but apparently turned off. What happened? After a few minutes of unsuccessfully pushing buttons, the nanny had the bright idea of checking the electricity closet. Yep, the circuit breaker works great… Maybe a lower temperature? Same result. Umm….

This is where the Chinese nannies came in and saved the day. While I helped the kids knead, roll, and decorate personal-sized pizzas with a second batch of dough that I’d made, the nannies went to work pan-frying the first pizza (which was entirely too big to be cooked any other way). The plate-sized pizzas we cooked in the microwave.

pan-fried pizza… good save!

I take it back, Wang Ayi. You were a lot of help, really!

An array of pizza-making methods

Sophia's pizza got a little crusty in the microwave, but it tastes alright!

Sophia’s pizza got a little crusty in the microwave, but it tasted alright!

Leeya, let me take a picture of you and your beautiful pizza now, because I have a feeling a trip through the microwave could ruin it’s careful design.

Yikes! I warned you…

Keeping everyone calm and focused was by far the hardest part. I kept reassuring my host mother that none of the pizza ingredients will make you sick if they’re under-cooked, that I really did know what I was doing and that it would work out fine. In the end I’d call the pizza making venture a success, though I don’t know if I will muster the courage to try another cooking activity. Everyone helped, and everyone thought the pizza was delicious (even if it looked like a mess). However, next time we may be making sandwiches.

Chloe the Cloud

Posted on October 15, 2016 by melissagold11

One of my tasks at my current family is to encourage Leeya (age 7) to write in English. A few times a week we sit down together and just write (separate stories, that is. I’m really just keeping her company. I don’t really help her with her story until it comes to editing). Sometimes the stories I write spontaneously are actually interesting and well written without much editing, so I thought I’d post one here.

~~~~~~~~

Chloe the Cloud

By Melissa

Once upon a time there was a cloud named Chloe. Yes, Chloe the Cloud was her name! You probably didn’t know this about clouds, but they have pretty interesting lives. They like to chase birds, travel around the world, and play with other clouds. When a bunch of clouds all get together, people call it a rainstorm. However, up above, the clouds are having a party.

Chloe the Cloud woke up and climbed out of her soft cloud bed one morning and discovered that she was all alone in the sky. She looked to the left, right, front, and behind, but all she could see was empty blue sky. However, when she looked down she noticed that she was not alone after all. Below her in a large field was a boy. He was carrying a bucket of water in his hands. She heard him say “I hope that my flowers will grow to be big and beautiful someday. They will be happy for a drink!”

However, the bucket was too big for him to carry so he sat down beside the road. Chloe noticed that the boy was very hot and thirsty. She wanted to help him, so she moved in the sky so that her shadow covered him. The boy looked up and saw Chloe. “Hello, little cloud! Now I am not so hot. I was worried that I would get so thirsty that I would drink this water in the bucket myself before I could water my flowers.”

The boy got up after a minute, picked up the heavy bucket, and continued walking along the road. Above him, Chloe moved too so that he was always in the shade.

However, because the bucket was so heavy, the boy walked very slowly. It was afternoon before Chloe could see his flower garden ahead. There were no flowers yet, but the plants looked healthy and were covered with small flower buds. The flowers would bloom soon! However, Chloe also noticed that the grass beside the garden was yellow and dying. It seemed that clouds had not been to this place for a long time: it had not rained for many days. The boy must carry water to his garden like this every day!

The boy was very near the garden now but, oh no! He tripped on a rock and fell down. The water spilled out of the bucket all over the ground and his clothes. The boy began to cry. “My flowers! They are so thirsty from being in the hot sunshine today! I do not have time now to bring them more water before night. I don’t want to leave my flowers thirsty, but I must go home…”

The boy turned and began to walk sadly home. Seeing this, Chloe began to cry too. She wanted to see the flowers bloom and, most of all; she wanted the boy to be happy. Suddenly, the boy looked up at Chloe. His head was covered in small rain drops that were Chloe’s tears. This gave her an idea. Chloe floated away as fast as she could to find some friends. She would need a lot of help.

“Let’s go have a party!” she told the first clouds she met.

“What are we celebrating?” they asked.

“My friend’s new flowers!” replied Chloe.

“But I don’t see any flowers here…” said the other clouds when they reached the garden.

“No flowers yet.” said Chloe.

Then the party began. That night there was a big rain storm over the garden and the land around it. When the boy woke up the next morning, he was surprised to see that everywhere the ground was wet. He ran out to his garden. The blooms had turned into beautiful flowers at last! It must have rained last night. He looked up, but the rain was over. Now there was only one small cloud in the sky.

Sand Painting

Posted on October 14, 2016 by melissagold11

In which I paint with sand…? Something might have been lost in translation.

Every month my agency hosts an Au Pair cultural event, most recently sand painting. You know, the famous traditional Chinese art of painting with sand! What, you’ve never heard of it? Yeah, me neither.

Turns out, though, that sand painting is done by pushing sand into patterns on a table that’s lit from beneath. It also turns out that there’s a DIY sand painting studio in Beijing which is where we all went. The teacher taught us different techniques and walked us step-by-step through different paintings, which took nearly all of our time there, but looked awesome. I would totally go back just to play on my own.

In the sand painting studio with the other Beijing Au Pairs.

The following are the paintings that I did with instruction.

Our first painting. Fun and easy, except that you can’t erase mistakes.

Swishing the sand evenly over the surface at the start is perhaps the most challenging part. Here are some grapes and my Chinese name.

Bamboo shoots were fun to make!

Ok, this one was pretty interesting to make.

Ok, this one was pretty complicated, but I’m proud. The sun is made my just sprinkling the sand, but it’s hard to get it right.

The Great Wall

Speaking of crafts, I did pick up my finished bowl that I made in Hangzhou. At my first Beijing host family I ate out of it three meals a day! It’s the perfect rice bowl.

The finished product! Sorry it took me awhile to post pictures.

From the side.

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Wooooaah according to my blog stats this is my 50th blog post! Here’s to 50 more!

Third Try’s the Charm

Posted on October 9, 2016 by melissagold11

In which I introduce ‘my new Chinese family’ yet again.

I started the last week of September by packing up all of my belongings yet again. This time, though, I would only be going a 20 minute drive. My newest family lives in Beijing, in the northeast part of the city.

They have three kids: Leeya (age 7), Sophia (age 4), and Aiyou (age 2).

Leeya and Sophia

Leeya goes to an international school and her English is fluent, which is good since she’s very talkative. Currently she’s working on the doubly impossible task of learning to read and write Chinese and English. Mostly I help her with reading and writing homework and practice. She likes to ice skate, play piano, make paper crafts, and draw (especially with my sparkly colored pens!)

This family likes to ice skate. Leeya has lessons and does competitions.

Leeya loves making paper envelopes. Sophia helped her make 20 altogether!

Leeya enjoys writing (I didn’t help her at all with this!) Look, there I am with the curly hair!

Sophia, the 4 year old, is absolutely adorable. Her English is still limited, but she’s great at listening and speaking using what she knows. Her mandarin is naturally very slow and clear, too, and she’s very patient so we don’t have problems understanding each other. She happily repeats everything I say in the cutest little kid voice. Best of all, she copies all the unnecessary sound effects that I add to mundane tasks. Picking up a piece of paper off the floor needs a sound! Finally, I’ve met someone who understands!

Sophia on the amusement ride at the park.

Testing the new bicycle in the park

The baby, Aiyou, is still learning Chinese. The nanny takes care of her full time and I mostly work with the older kids. She’s pretty darn cute too, though. Maybe I’ll get her speaking a few words in English. We’ll see.

Aiyou! (Is that the sound you make when you see a baby getting into trouble?)

This time around I was interviewing parents as much (no… definitely more) than the kids. The mom, Danqing is soft-spoken but very sweet. She’s very to-the-point on work, schedule, and expectations which was a big selling point for me. Her English is excellent and we’ve made room in the schedule to work together on reading through some English books. The ones she picked are pretty intense. We haven’t had a chance to start yet.

Danqing and Sophia out on a walk.

Time to put my liberal arts education to work!

Their father (are you ready for this?) is an artist. Yes, this is how they made their fortune. He is a famous Chinese artist and has a studio in 798 Art District here in Beijing. He has two brothers that are also artists, and they have adjacent studio work spaces. The family often spends the night there on the weekends and as far as I know grandma lives there full-time.

Drawing in their uncle’s art studio with their friend (cousin?)

Giant workshop

Work space, gallery, and mansion. This is a view of the building and courtyard as seen from the rooftop.

Well, I’ve said it all before but I’ll say it again. I’m their first Au Pair but things are going smoothly so far. The kids love me, the mom likes me a lot, the father is nice but busy, and the nannies are trying to fatten me up (many have tried, all have failed.) I’m quite happy here, and hopefully it will stay that way!

Photomon Go!

Posted on October 8, 2016 by melissagold11

(Events from September 24th… I’m still catching up since moving.)

In which I find an alternative to playing Pokemon Go! (the game is unplayable in China)

There’s this great website called Meetup. It’s basically a place to find or create community groups in your area focused around different interests or careers. This site isn’t very popular in China yet, but foreigners are bringing it to international cities like Beijing and the Chinese themselves are starting to catch on.

My latest Meetup event was, of all things, a photography club. Basically I’ve just been going to whatever events happen to fall on my day off, but this one had particular significance (despite my unprofessional interest in photography and lack of a fancy camera). The theme for this meeting was “Photomon Go!” It promised to be a photo scavenger hunt with a catchy name, teams of players, and prize money. Hey, that sounds fun! Think of all the experience I could bring to the game! Photography-wise, it was supposed to be an exercise in taking photos spontaneously with little setup, and asking strangers to pose for photographs. Pretty good way to practice!

The agreed meetup place was in Sanlitun, the giant foreign shopping center in Chaoyang district, so I allowed some extra time to find the meeting point.

Meeting point: The ball-thing beside Starbucks. Thank you, Baidu Maps, for taking me to the right Starbucks on the first try.

I found the place with time to spare, and found it swarmed with people taking pictures with big fancy cameras (all Chinese). Were these my people? I’d never been to the photography club meetup before, so I didn’t know. I asked one guy in Chinese if he was there for the picture-taking game, and couldn’t understand his answer (but it didn’t seem like he knew what I was referencing). Because I’m foreign (I guess), I was suddenly the focal point of a lot of pictures… waiting for an event to start just got a little more awkward.

After an uncomfortable wait, the actual photo club arrived, most with cell phone cameras like me. The group was about half Chinese, half expats, which was a great mix considering what we were about to team up and do. The group coordinators, Connie and Rebecca (both expat English teachers) collected 50RNB from each person (about $7 USD) to put in the prize pot, organized everybody randomly into 3 groups of 6, and explained the rules: everyone in each team had to fulfill every item on the list. The first team to finish (or) after 2 and a half hours the team with the most items would win all the collected money.

Take a photo through a shop window of only one group member pretending to be a store mannequin, wearing the same clothes as a nearby mannequin.
This item was just pure genius! So ridiculous and fun.

This was maybe the most fun I’ve had posing for a picture. (Photo credit to team member Tony)
Get an attractive stranger’s autograph and take a group photo with them as if they are a movie star.
And, the “talking to strangers” skills just got a lot more exercise. I’m posing with the actual signature I got from this random girl on the street. To make the scene more authentic, there were six of us on the team all taking photos!
Take a Beatles ‘Abbey Road-style’ pic with team members.
My photos got more artistic as the sky grew darker.

Thanks, Tony, for the photo shat actually shows what we’re doing.
Take a pic of a happy dog with team members.
The girl is at least as cute as her dog. Awww
Take a pic of a man blowing cigarette smoke rings.
Thank you, China, for your obscenely large smoking population. We need you now! This guy was willing to give it a shot!

We found this restaurant employee on break who was willing to give it a go. Six people all standing in front of him ready with cameras. No pressure!
Take a pic of an unhappy child.
She looks pretty bored, anyway. Ehh close enough.
Take a candid pic through the glass of three men drinking inside a bar.
We ran around searching a dozen different bars, but it was just too early. Pretty proud of this shot. It’s not in a bar, but it’s through a window!

Later on in the evening we actually found a group in the bar, so we took pictures of them too just in case.
Take a pic of a woman wearing red high-heel shoes.
Such perfect shoes! So many well-dressed people in this area on a Saturday evening.
Do a Photobomb
I will take credit for this item. “What’s a photobomb?” ask the non-native English speakers on my team. “Just… watch me and get ready to take a picture!” After I demonstrated, Tony got the idea and posed so I could get a picture myself.
Take a pic of some very blue shoes.
One of our team members had very blue shoes. I call this one “some very popular very blue shoes”.
Take a pic of a Beijing Bikini
A Beijing Bikini refers to the way Chinese men roll up their shirts when it’s hot. The evening wasn’t nearly warm enough for a natural spotting, so we made our team member do it.
Take a pic of people holding hands.
Cute couples are everywhere, so this one was pretty easy.
Take a picture of birds.
No. Friggin. Birds. Anywhere. In the end we took pictures of the birds on this sign. Close enough.
Take a macro pic of flowers.
Thank you, urban landscaping designers.
Take a pic of two old people laughing.
A few of the photographers I mentioned at the beginning. Glad they could be of some help!
Take a pic of a child on their parent’s shoulders.
We actually staged this one (yeah, I know it doesn’t look like it. I was slow getting my camera ready) then immediately afterwards spotted at least two natural occurrences. When you’re taking photos in a hurry, you don’t want to wait for the perfect opportunity to walk along.
Take a pic of three girls with shopping bags walking together.
Just another day out on the city.
Take a candid pic of someone who appears to be wealthy.
Random person in an expensive clothing store. Note: it’s easier to take pictures discreetly if there aren’t six of you.
Take a candid pic of someone who appears to be poverty stricken.
Noodle time
Hot pot shot.
What’s hotpot? Just the most amazing boiled meat dish in China. What’s awkward? Walking into a restaurant and asking patrons if we can take pictures of their food.
Light painting shot.
We had no idea what light painting was, but this seemed to fit with a little poetic interpretation.

So, apparently light painting is when you make a light trail on purpose. We tried. It kinda worked. My phone camera is much better at doing that on accident.
Architecture pic in Black & White.
More black than white. It was actually dark outside.
Rooftop view.
Deciding what to hunt down next.

The pollution sucked that day, but the view was still pretty cool!
Sex shop item pic.
“Let’s go find a sex shop!”
Mojito man pic.
That must be him.

My team didn’t finish first, but we did end up being the only team to satisfy the judges on every list item! So, WE WON! That’s not the point… but it was exciting, especially as someone who only gets 1000RNB of pocket money per month. Afterwards we all went to a rooftop restaurant to socialize, catch our breath after running around for 2 hours, and have a drink. Great way to get some exercise, take some interesting pictures, and meet new friends. I wouldn’t call any of my photos masterpieces, but it was cool to do a photo scavenger hunt with some friends in one afternoon as opposed to stretching it out over months. Both have their perks. I can’t say that this was more fun than actually playing Pokemon Go! (as I’ve not been able to try it) but it was pretty addictive so it might measure up. 10/10, would play again!

A Date For One

Posted on October 7, 2016 by melissagold11

(A delayed post from Friday, September 30, 2016)

In which I take a break from blogging about serious subjects in favor of rambling about getting a haircut and eating ice cream.

Last week started by getting my two weeks’ notice, then followed a week of setting up and doing interviews with new families (several in-person here in Beijing), then on Monday I moved in with my newest (3^rd) family, learned a new schedule, attended the monthly culture class with the other Au Pairs in Beijing (Sand Painting), then on Thursday attended my regular Chinese class and bought my winter wardrobe. It’s been a busy time. However, Friday is my new day off and it felt great just to have no appointments.

My Chinese teacher personally took me winter clothes shopping at the large market near where we meet for class.

Besides my blog, a lot of self-maintenance and correspondence had gotten neglected in the flurry. I spent the morning and most of the afternoon doing boring stuff like responding to emails, doing laundry, drafting a blog post, doing another load of laundry, hand-washing all my underwear, realizing that I had one day left to enter the UNC Asheville study abroad photo contest and putting my entry form together. You know, all the stuff I should have done a week ago or more.

I love the new kids but on my day off I’ve gotta avoid work. So, this was my evening plan: Leave home when the kids come home from class, find dinner, then go to Sanlitun/三里屯 (the flashy modern shopping district in downtown Chaoyang) and try cheese+fruit Xuebing (雪冰, Bingsu, Korean ice cream, whatever you want to call it) to see if China can do something right with cheese. I also brought along the newest English book my new host mother bought, which happened to be about math. Math and ice cream… ahhh the perfect evening out!

Nobody in Beijing has yet recommended the bus over the subway, too unpredictable and slow due to traffic jams, they say. However, I’ve found that I prefer sitting over standing, walking a short way over walking a long way, paying less over paying more, and taking a direct route over transferring lines. I probably have Hangzhou’s useless subway system to thank for my bus addiction… Anyway, this seemed the perfect time to try a new bus route so, early on in my non-hurried adventure, I followed my GPS down a side street on the way to the bus stop.

On this street I by chance spotted a hair salon (I wouldn’t have seen it if I hadn’t been looking right at it, it was that small). Now, one thing that I’ve neglected to do for many weeks now is get a haircut. It might seem a silly thing to be anxious about considering all the other things I’ve done, but the truth is that I haven’t gotten a professional haircut (in any country) in over 10 years. At home my parents have cut my hair for almost as long as I can remember and the only person to cut my hair in China was Jessica (back in Hangzhou). I’ve seen plenty of large modern hair salons around but found them intimidating and worried they might be expensive. I learned a long time ago that the easiest people to talk to, considering my limited Chinese, are those people who are patient and not in a hurry. This, I think, is a large part of the reason why I get along so well with elderly people. So, I’d been keeping an eye out for a more slow-paced establishment (or old man in the park with a pair of scissors, whatever really).

Not exactly a famous place. That’s ok, I’m really just looking for anyone with a good pair of scissors.

Anyway, I peeped in this tiny hair salon to see only two bored-looking youngish men who both a appeared to work there: one lounging on his phone and the other diligently styling a maniquin’s hair. They also had nice hair themselves which I took to be a good sign. The interior was small but clean and had only one hair washing basin, one hair cutting station, one mirror, and a couch. There were no other customers. Others might consider it quaint, but for me who had basically never set foot in a hair salon before, it seemed wonderfully un-complicated. I asked how much a haircut cost and learned that they would wash and cut my hair for 20￥ (that’s about $3 USD). The price was right. Time to get one more over-due thing checked off my list.

I don’t think I’ve ever had my hair washed by a stranger before. At first I wasn’t too excited about the idea and didn’t really see the point, but oh man, for the next two days I couldn’t stop touching and sniffing my hair. It felt like princess hair. He did a good job. One guy washed my hair and the other guy cut it (just the bangs, nothing fancy). They may secretly have been excited or terrified to touch a foreigner’s hair, but they kept it professional while I was there. I definitely heard loud excited conversation echoing behind me the second after I said goodbye and stepped out the door, though.

I’ve mentioned “small triumphs” before on my blog. This was definitely another one of those moments.

The finished product

Back on my dinner-finding, ice cream-hunting mission, I found a small restaurant a few doors down and got a quick dinner, found my bus stop, and headed downtown.

A giant mango bingsu, a color-coordinated math literature, and commercial-free K-pop music videos playing on the TV. It's basically the perfect night out!

A giant mango bingsu, color-coordinated math literature, and commercial-free K-pop music videos playing on the TV. It’s basically Melissa’s perfect night out!

There are actually two Korean cafes right across from each other at the shopping center. I picked the one I didn’t go to last time, just to be different, and ordered the mango cheese bingsu. I’ve seen these “cheese” flavors at every bingsu cafe I’ve visited and thought them strange. I’ve never ordered a bingsu outside of China so for all I know it’s an authentic Korean bingsu ingredient. But, if there’s one thing the Chinese don’t know how to eat, it’s cheese. I had to give it a try at least once, though. I don’t know what kind of cheese they used, but it was basically flavorless. Worse yet it was a hard cheese so the texture just didn’t work out. Not a fan. However, it takes a lot more than a little cheese to ruin a good bingsu!

Korean-style dessert. This one was "mango cheese" flavored (芒果芝士雪冰）. I've been morbidly curious about the cheese spin on so many of the flavors and I finally gave it a try. Not a fan, but still can't go too wrong with that masterpiece.

Korean-style dessert. This one was “mango cheese” flavored (芒果芝士雪冰）. I’ve been morbidly curious about the cheese spin on so many of the flavors that I finally gave it a try. I mean, you just can’t go too wrong with that masterpiece.

I’ll just ignore the fact that the dessert was supposed to be enough to feed two people (the server originally brought me two bowls…) It’s not dense, though. Under the mango is just a pile of shaved ice and a little bit of sweetened condensed milk. After an hour’s diligent work and reading, I did manage to finish nearly all of it by myself!

All in all, it was a great day. Took care of some old business, had a small hair salon triumph, read a good book, and ate an awesome dessert! Sometimes a simple plan is the best plan, a relaxing day is the best adventure, and no company is the perfect date.

Being An Au Pair in China: An Honest Review

Posted on October 3, 2016 by melissagold11

In which I publish my longest, most brutally honest blog post yet.

I really wanted to wait to write this until I had finished my work as an Au Pair, but since my second 6-month contract just fell through and I’m about to move in with family number three, I’m (1) feeling pretty experienced as an Au Pair already and (2) feel that I should provide a more detailed explanation of the relationship between the family, the Au Pair, and the agency so that you can start to understand the sorts of situations that often occur.

I don’t really have any pictures to go along with this post, so I will just leave this picture of a rather introspective cat I spotted at a pet store here.

Before you consider or recommend an Au Pair program in China, these are some things that you should understand about the pressures, relationships, and the nature of my own experiences and difficulties as an Au Pair in China. Also, keep in mind that I have experienced no unmanageable issues with the children themselves, or with living in China in general (many other Au Pairs have voiced concerns on these issues, but I will not address them here).

Au Pairs and their Expectations

Being an Au Pair is not a job in that an Au Pair is not paid a salary and thus does not need a work visa. Au Pairs actually pay a fee (smaller than the cost of a plane ticket) to an agency to participate in the program, but everything they’ll need to live is provided by either the host family or the agency.

In general, Au Pairs are new high school graduates, university students, or recent college graduates taking a gap year. When I ask the question “Why China?” most reply “To challenge myself” as if they’re some wild adventure hunter. Most are in it for the opportunity to travel cheaply and are not necessarily passionate about or experienced in ESL teaching or child care, though they’re willing to do their best. Some may have studied Chinese language or history before coming, but most have not. They are not expected to have any previous language teaching experience. It’s a cultural exchange program, after all, not a real job. The visa paperwork says so!

Interestingly, the Au Pairs I’ve met in China are mostly European. I’ve met Germans, Italians, and Brits mostly, but they come from all over the continent and not necessarily from English-speaking countries, though their English is fluent.

Host Families and Their Expectations

One thing to understand: Chinese people are desperate for their children to learn and practice English. Parents realize that China is becoming more globalized and that English is necessary to communicate with almost any non-Chinese business or organization. It is also important for China to gain more exposure to foreign cultures (any expat can attest to this fact). Parents also realize that the Chinese school system sucks (in many ways, but teaching kids English is definitely one of them). Many wealthier families send their kids to universities, high schools, and even middle schools in foreign English-speaking countries with the hopes that they will get a better education and future opportunities. Getting an Au Pair is more expensive and personal than English classes, but if it helps the kids learn English without being shipped off to a foreign country at a young age than it’s worth a try.

The Good

All Benefits Included: With a good agency (and thankfully Lopair does their job well), the risk of being stranded in a foreign country is almost zero. The company covers (or insures that the host family covers) the costs of plane tickets, legal paperwork, food, housing, living expenses, health insurance, language classes, local support, expenses associated with changing host families, dealing with emergencies, etc.) The only thing you absolutely need to pay for with your stipend money is public transportation to and from Chinese class. You can spend the rest on ice cream if you want. Seriously, the only time I’ve taken money out of my personal account since I started as an Au Pair was to pay sixty bucks for my hostel in Shenzhen, and that was personal travel. I have met plenty of English teachers here working illegally (without a work visa), some without insurance and/or living semi-permanently in a hostel. There are plenty of things to get stressed about in this job, but money is not one of them.

It Really Can Work Well: If the Au Pair and the family communicate with each other and understand each other’s expectations, the situation can work really well. A few months with an Au Pair can have kids speaking better English than Chinese adults who literally studied English all their lives. Chinese people have a culture of being wonderful hosts, so Au Pairs are treated well. Wealthy families, if they like the Au Pair, will take them sight-seeing around the city, the country, or even abroad. Also, by living with a Chinese host family an Au Pair is in the perfect situation to be fully immersed in the local culture. If everybody learns how to get along, the relationship is fantastic.

The Bad

Expectations Mismatch: Chinese families who get Au Pair are all upper-class because Au Pairs are expensive. The fact that parents pay a lot of money to the agency to get an Au Pair means that they naturally expect top-notch results. Then, combine that with the fact that they are, after all, Chinese parents (meaning they expect a lot anyway) and an Au Pair may have some big shoes to fill. Contrast that with the expectations of Au Pairs, who expect a cultural exchange experience funded by baby-sitting and some English conversation practice (they may speak English well, but that doesn’t make them teachers), and you’ve got potential for a large gap in expectations. Host parents may not feel guilty for asking their Au Pair to work overtime, help with tasks not in the job description, or perform as well as a professional English tutor because, after all, they paid good money for a service. Likewise, Au Pairs may not feel guilty for doing the minimum of the job description, maybe just sitting watching TV with the kids and making sure they don’t get into trouble. Hey, it’s not like they can get a raise or get paid overtime! There’s not a curriculum to follow or anything! Neither of these extreme approaches is fair to the other party, but it’s easy to see how these mindsets could occur.

The Pay: A good agency provides everything you need, but the truth is that Au Pairs don’t get paid beyond a small monthly living stipend, meaning the amount is fixed (regardless of performance). In fact, Au Pairs actually pay a small fee to participate in the program. Remember how desperately sought-after fluent (especially native) English speakers are in China? Real English teaching or tutoring jobs can pay pretty well. Some even provide benefits like airfare, housing and help getting a work visa. My Chinese friends that I’ve explained my work to have a wide range of reactions on hearing the details of my situation, from “Eh, I guess that makes sense.” to “Dude get out of there you’re getting ripped off!” I’ve struggled with the fairness question for a while, and while I don’t think Au Pairs are getting ripped off, the truth is that despite the benefits, there are many moments spent under the scrutiny of expectant host parents, trying to figure out the details of their high expectations, of “I really don’t get paid enough for this.” Money may not be an issue, but I don’t have anything to put in savings either.

Work-Life Separation: It’s mostly zero. If you’re at home and the kids are home, chances are you’re putting in work hours. Knocking before entering is not a concept that most Chinese children are familiar with, either, and anyway it would be rude to ignore the family completely while they’re home. Basically you have to leave the house if you want to get away from work and sometimes the host families feel the same way. If you’re not careful, your 30 work hours a week (the contract limit) could become 40 or more, especially during holidays.

Also, some decided benefits of traditional English teaching jobs are that the parents are not directly involved in the classroom and you don’t take them (or your students) home with you after you finish work. One of my non-au pair English teacher friends literally taped a giant paper tree over his classroom viewing window just so that parents couldn’t stare at him while he worked. There are definitely times when I wished I had a tree too. The closeness to the family can be great, but when you hear stories of Au Pairs that got fired because they didn’t clean their rooms, there might be a need for a little more work-life separation.

The Ugly

Very Conditional Love: Is an Au Pair-host family relationship or a work relationship or a family relationship? It’s supposed to be a family relationship, but the ugly truth is that host parents are fundamentally incapable of loving an Au Pair unconditionally. The children can love them, the grandparents can love them, the aunts and uncles and cousins and pets can love them, but not the parents (however much they might like you). Au Pairs are employees in the sense that if the parents are unsatisfied with their work, they will be dismissed. So, it feels like a family relationship only as long as everything is going smoothly.

Getting Dismissed: The experience is different for everyone. In fact, in some cases the Au Pair breaks the contract instead of the parent. I guess it would be less traumatic if we all just hated each other, but it’s rarely that simple. When you live with a family you not only get to know the kids but also the grandparents, relatives, friends, neighborhood, and city where they live. Both times I got dismissed I had (except for one parent) neutral or excellent relationships with all family members, including the kids, up until the day I got my two weeks’ notice. That’s not a slow deterioration of a wide range of relationships, that’s a shock for everybody because one person couldn’t be bothered to negotiate a compromise.

When the contract is broken prematurely all of those previously-healthy relationships get damaged, and the Au Pair gets the news that they’ve been fired, estranged, evicted, and may even have to move to a new city (all in a foreign country) all at once. It’s really tough for the kids too. The agency is great in that they’re fast on starting the rematch process, but unlike ordinary breakups where you can take a few months or years to recover before you try again, in this kind of relationship you’ve got to put on a smiling face for a new round of interviews starting the next day, before you’ve even moved out.

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So, that’s what it’s been like for me. My experiences have ranged from fantastic to terrible and back. Day to day work is generally nice since I’ve gotten along well with the kids. I’ve gained new child care and ESL tutoring skills from each family I’ve stayed with. At this point I have more soft skills than a pillow factory. However, although I may not take my problems with me from one family to the next, I definitely take my fear. The process of being re-matched has been truly terrible for me and although I have high hopes that my latest family will work out and finish out the 3-month contract, I may never completely shake the feeling that it could end tomorrow. One way or the other, this will be my last host family. After this it’s either time to get a real job in China, or go home.

I’ve learned a lot from these experiences and on the whole they’ve been good, but if I could do it all again I would look at other working opportunities in China, such as real teaching jobs or real family exchange programs. I might also look for volunteer teaching work opportunities.

Being an Au Pair isn’t exactly what I expected. Does anything I’ve written surprise you?

*UPDATE 2018**

Wow! This post has gotten a lot more traffic than I ever expected! I’m so glad my perspective and experiences are helpful to others traveling to China.

Even though it’s been over a year since I finished my last Au Pair contract and left China, I’m more than happy to your answer your comments (but I’m not sure you’ll get notified of my reply) >.<

This blog is a relic of my 2016 China adventures, but if you want to see my more recent China/Mandarin/Culture/Travel related writing (or contact me directly), I’ve moved to a shiny new site on WordPress here!

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White Rice

Monthly Archives: October 2016

The Scary Story of Great Uncle Hairy

A New Friend for Alex

Imitating Art

Making a Pizza

Chloe the Cloud

Sand Painting

Third Try’s the Charm

Photomon Go!

A Date For One

Being An Au Pair in China: An Honest Review

*UPDATE 2018**

*****UPDATE 2018******

*UPDATE 2018**